Mar 31, 2012

Preparing for Adventure

This the end of March! Though I think it came backwards this year, in like a lamb and out like a lion. This past weekend has had absolutely horrible weather. I hope April will be better. I miss the days where I was sunbathing on the back porch.

Despite not being much of a set deadlined goal person, I did pretty good with my Are You Writing Now? goals for March. I read two books! And expanded my novelette. And finally finished my NaNo (which I feel really stupid about, because it ended up being less than a page till the end. Plus, the more I think about it, the more I'm like, I never want to read this again. It totally hit that NaNo regret, I'll most likely start it from scratch. In a year. Hmm...I do need something to do in Ethiopia...).

I did not get around to researching self-publishing ventures like I hoped to, but I'll have to do that this month. Since I'll be gone for so long, I'd like to have something published before I go. Be it a self published work, or flash fiction. I know a lot of flash fiction markets have a quick turn around, so I'll be writing and submitting like crazy all April. I'm also playing with the idea of making postcards...but that'll be a side goal. I won't make any promises for that ^_~

Mar 27, 2012

You guys are awesome

So, I woke the morning of my last post all embarressed and ashamed. Had I really just wrote, and posted, all that? (Though I'll admit, I felt significantly better for it) I purposely avoided opening my comment e-mails till today actually (and more specificlly, within the hour), worried/scared/nervous about what you guys had said.

Sometimes I'm rather silly. Because I should have read your comments as they came in.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your kind, supportive words. And hugs. Those were really nice. You guys are awesome, and I couldn't have asked for better writer friends. Really, you all have to live near me so I can host a party where I do nothing but feed you baked goods. We can also peep joust, that's fun. No swimming in the canal though, tis polluted.

I figure I should up date you guys - I've put finding a job/internship on hold.

For 2 and 1/2 years.

Because all this has helped me make the choice and join the Peace Corps. I leave in June for Ethipoia. Promise, I'll tell a lot more latter in an A-Z challenge post.

Leaving means I have a lot on my plate, and this little break has helped clear my head and informed me how much time blogging takes! I'll be focusing on challenge posts for the rest of the month, but I'll see you all in April!

Though, April's gonna be scary. I thought it was hard keeping up with Platform posts and what you guys normally do. We're all gonna drown in words next month. >.<

Mar 14, 2012

Crumbs

I know this blog is supposed to be about trying to make my dreams come true, but tonight I'm wondering if mine have crashed too many times.

I've been searching for a job for over year now, rarely getting nibbles. And when I do, oh, does my writer's mind create a life for me. My most recent involved an internship at a good company, who hires 68% of their interns full time. I was gonna get a position as a copywriter intern working for their blog this summer and commute with a high school friend, and then get hired full time, and move out. My life would get rolling and things would be good.

You know, until I get a call this afternoon saying sorry, no internship.

And hey, I had a moment of sadness, but then I was over it. Just like rejections from markets, you move on to the next one.

But then dinner with the family came around, I shared my news with my parents, and they went on this whole triad about how they're sorry, they know I wanted it, had been counting on it (I'd been through two phone interviews and submitted writing samples, been in contact with this company since October, and live near by). My response, I shrugged, told them there's no reason for them to be sorry as it's not their fault, and continued to do what I was doing.

But then they pointed out I should be feeling down, I should be upset, and I'm not. Not really. And it makes me wonder if I've just seen too many potential plans form and fail. Oh, I'll still keep building them, I need to be published after all. But so many dreams have crumbled and I'm used it to. Used to it. I'm fucking used to dreams and plans falling apart to the point where I don't really care anymore. How sad is that?

I have my writing though. Or did. Until my father pointed out that I probably didn't get the internship because they didn't like my writing. And for case study I had to do for an interview (different company) that he read over, he didn't like my writing either. And hey, I understand there's a difference between business and fiction writing, but writing is my life and what I hope to make a livelihood out of, I apply to jobs where writing is a heavy task. And when some who's opinion really matter tells you your skill aren't good and maybe you should pursue a different path, that hurts. A lot.

Because I don't have any other skills other than writing. (And thanks Dad, for not suggesting one to me either) What the fuck am I suppose to do with myself now? How can I build a life on nothing? My other interests also revolve around the arts, and whoa, a Fine Arts degree is totally gonna help me more than a Communications one. *rolls eyes* And no way I can be a teacher for life.

I feel absolutely lost right now. *bitter laugh* Like I hit a brick wall and was shot through the wing at the same, and am now lying on the ground looking for something I can use as a splint.

Sorry, so sorry for rambling and ranting and swearing and dumping all this stuff. But the nights been awful, it's late, I'm all hormonal, the house lacks good chocolate, and these stupid tears are just now drying as I've finished this post cuz writing has always made me feel better in the past.

Usually, as right now I can't bear to work on any of my WIPs like my normal catharsis outing. And I figured that if I disappear for a while you guys should have a bit of a reason.

Consistency

It's Tuesday night, and like many other nights of the week I'm hitting refresh on Aesop's job listing page and waiting for something to pop up. Being a substitute teacher is nice and all, I work only days I want to and there's nothing for me to work on once I get home (plus I'm home before 3:30!).

But job consistency is not there. There have been days when there wasn't a job when I wanted one, and then other days where the only jobs available are assignments I don't want. Really, when the class room is filled with students who are all in wheelchairs and need to be feed, lifted, and changed and I have no training in that I'm very hesitant to take an assignment out of fear I'll do something wrong and injure a student. Granted, I don't have the training to handle a class of first graders either (in Michigan, you only need 90 college credits to be a sub), but the worse that happens then is I have a loud class.

Really, I would like something where I can count on a consistent paycheck.

I'd also love consistent writing.

I'm totally a binger. When I get an idea and start writing, I'll go for two or three days, churning out over 10K words and shortchanging myself on sleep. And then abandon it for weeks. Or months. Or...years. There's that short story, complete with my professor's comments on it, that I have left from Primus, three years ago?

I've been trying to trick my binges, purposefully cutting myself off in the midst of a good part to encourage me to come back the next day. But it doesn't always work, and I have to remind myself that I have a document to open and work on. And because I binge with new ideas first and foremost, I have...oh dears, 10 WIPs in a variety of stages? Maybe more, I can't remember all of them XD. I've developed this habit of keeping Word open all the time, and that seems to help. But still, I'm terrible at keeping up a consistent writing schedule and would love advice on how you guys manage it.


In other news, I've been gifted the Liebster Award from Sara at Cutest Landing! Sara, despite her thoughts of other wise, has great posts that make me smile all the time due to her humor. Go check her out!

This award is special and shows loves for blogs that have less than a hundred followers. I'm forwarding this on to three wonderful bloggers who are new to the Fulfilling Dreams community and all deserve a look.

Darcy at Luncay and Anchor
Daniel Noyes
Jodi Su at 52 Weeks

Mar 11, 2012

Lucky Number 7

Or at least, 7 is presumed to be lucky. As is 3. Wonder why that is...I'm way to curious for my own damn good.

The fantabulous Lauren Waters, fellow campaigner, has tagged me for the Lucky 7 Meme. Following the rules of the game, I'm to:
1. Go to page 77 of my current MS/WIP
2. Go to line 7
3. Copy down the next 7 lines – sentences or paragraphs – and post them as they’re written. No cheating
4. Tag 7 authors

There's a slight issue with this, as my current WIP novelette Flicker doesn't have 77 pages. Even if I double space it. So, what you're getting is from my very rough 2011 NaNo, Strella PAX. And I mean, rough like sandpaper so bumpy you cut yourself on it. Even worse, because that's the beginning of the novel and as I went along things just went downhill. Page 77 is death touch rough. I haven't even looked at this thing since I wrote it in November.

You've been warned.

----------


“Some of the stuff in there is mine. Sorta, it’s not like we paid for it.”

“Right then,” Julie placed her hands on her knees and pushed herself up out of the chair. “I’ll get started in the office then. I’m sure there’s lots of information there that shouldn’t be left lying around.”

Michael put on proper clothes before helping her. For a grandmother, Julie moved pretty well. He found her on the floor of the office, sorting paper in piles.

----------

Sorry Lauren, I know you wanted to see what I was up to but I have a feeling I've sorely disappointed you.

And I feel so embarrassed by the state of of these 7 lines, because, really, me as the author I have only a hazy recollection as to what and where this is going. If I remember right, this is after Polaris and Vega learned that the program that kidnapped them (which they're escaped from) also put hits out on their families, and Julie's from a counter group Polaris's parents started who's offering to hid them.

Gah. Really, this is totally not shareable. But it's good to get over not-sharing humps.

Right, so I have to tag seven authors to do the same now. Here's some of the future bestselling writers!

Rebecca Bradley
Julia King
Carrie Butler
Fairview
Kevin Hiatt
The Golden Eagle (I feel slightly silly for not knowing your real name)
Guilie Castillo

Mar 7, 2012

Things I Never Want to See in my Rearveiw Mirror


I would freak so bad if I saw that behind me. And then probably veer into the other lane while staring at it in fascination and a desire to know more.

Mar 5, 2012

Escape into the Wild Yellow Yonder


Today starts the second challenge of the Writer's Platform Building Campaign. It's a bit of a dozy, five prompts were given as well as five different guidelines of what to do with them. Participates can use one, all, or some of the prompts, with same rules applying to what to do with them. With the added challenge where if you do more than on option you can have a common theme.

I tried to use all of the prompt for both challenges. The first is flash fiction, 200 words or less as usual. The second is a poem, 200 words or less, that had to end with a twist. I went with the theme of 'escape'. If you guys like my entries, go ahead a vote for me. I'm number #38. And if you want to view other entries, you can head over to the blog list.

I'd also appreciate any critiques you guys can give me, especially on the poem. I'm not very good at those. :/


Hunter tried to convince Allison that the cut on his leg was small; he'd be kicking a ball around on the bridge soon. He failed.

They knew shifting through the dump behind Soltech Industries was trespassing, but it was worth the risk. The money they would have made on the black market would have fed them for a week. Maybe cover some of Hunter's med bills too, stupid virus.

His wife leaned him against a rusted bridge support, searched the area, and came back with a ratty infant's onesie. Hunter tried not to wince as she pressed it to his leg. The guard's battery sword had cut deep, and the leg had stopped supporting him.

"Dive," Allison whispered in his ear. "Go surf. It'll push away the pain."

He tried to avoid surfing the Web, it was how he got the virus, but she was right. So he dived, and like a water balloon filling with water until it burst, his mind grew and grew the deeper he dived until his world burst into the yellow lights of moving data packets. He dived into a familiar stream - photos collections of long dead friends from a happier time.



It is the right of Gods, to view their domain
And view their domain only
For part of the beauty is watching one’s work
Create and live on it’s own

From their high lofty vantage points, beyond stars
They can see time merge
Lights of orange and yellow crossing and looping
To weave through the universe

And from lower perches, less breathtaking
But no less important sights
Can be seen and treasured and recorded
As proof of good planning

There are children to be found anywhere
Whose spirits are happy
Paying attention not to the ocean and sky,
But to the toy before them

There are reuniting couples with distressless damsels,
Where he needs care
For miscompleted deeds of impression, so she heals
With her tender touch and sea watered hair

And from lower perches still, tiny and small
Gods can see the result
Of all the work put into creating clear water
And the art of droplets

Closer still, beyond the fantastic space and view
Is the cast aside reality
Or three small children pretending to have the power of Gods
Because they lack any

Mar 2, 2012

Ooo, Shiny

S.L. Hennessy over at Pensuasion has awarded me with a Kreativ Blogger Award! I'm so tickled.


The parameters are I have to spill 7 interesting facts about me. Which is kinda hard cuz I don't find myself that interesting.

1) My stupid human trick is I can suction cup to floor. It's a side effect of flat feet.

2) I'm half way legally blind. (The legal definition for being blind is a prescription of -8.00, I'm -4.75)

3) For minoring in film, I know nothing about celebrities.

4) When I was younger, my dream house would have each room be themed. One for lava lamps, one for books, one for horses, one for dragons.

5) I'm a mean baker, and like to twist recipes so they may turn out not so mean. My friends still hassle me about those brownies I sprinkled with lime jello powder.

6) I've visited four continents. (North America, South America, Europe, and Oceania. Next on the list, Africa!)

7) I'm a huge Transformers fan. I used to watch the original cartoons, and my fangirlness had continued to the Michael Bay movies (though I'm more in awe of the special effects than the plot lines). I have...four action figures from the series and kinda want to do a comic strip about them. Maybe someday.

I know I'm supposed to pass this one to more amazing people, but 1) you guys are all amazing and I can't pick and choose like that and 2) my compy in dying and I want to publish something.

So award this to all of you ^_^