Just Curious

Is anyone else also hanging out on Google+ from time to time?

Tsk tsk tsk

As I mentioned before, I get giddy over a lot of little things.  This week I was quite taken by this video. I'm such a space junkie.

Well, my goal last week was to get back in to a writing stream and I think I moderately succeeded. I mean, I wrote more than I have in a while.  Got practice doing complete rewrites instead of just fixing scene.  But I couldn't help but feel that each new version was a completely new fiction piece.  It's wasn't improving a scene per say, but writing a whole new one each time.  The characters shifted, not just the actions or location.  The relationship was different each and every time.  It makes me wonder if I can write a consistent relationship, I've never really been one for writing romance stories.  Maybe I can try to sneak one in my NaNo novel this year.  I need more characters I think. And for sure need to spend an hour or two working out my plot. At least.

Anywho, I do feel more writerly after last week.  Using this blog helped a lot.  I don't know how many of you actually read my rework flash fiction piece(s) [original - rewrite 1 - rewrite 2], but that's okay.  As I went along I discovered that I really was posting for me, to make sure that I did something.  And just the threat that someone may call me out for not posting made me go write.  Any type of account ability apparently goes a long way with me, so I'm going to try to keep it going somewhat, posting weekly updates on what I've did the previous week. 

I've read something about where accountability journals (of which will not be the main feature of this blog, in case you're wondering) work best if you set up goals and then punishments for not completing them.  My goals are going to be the same weekly for the most part, but I would love your help punishing me.  Just a simple comment scolding will do.  And you're welcome to throw in a virtual finger shaking.  I'm willing to return the favor for anyone who wants it.

In addition to writing fiction, this little rewriting project of mine jump-started my article writing too. That and the Examiner changed things so that not all articles had to be local.  Which is a lifesaver.  Doing science news, it's hard to find local things.

Over all, I manged to write about 1500 words last week.  I also wrote a review on Pottermore, an article about Popular Science awarding a local scientist (which got tweeted three times and that makes me silly-happy), and a movie review on the original, Israeli version of The Debt.

For next week I want to:

• write 2000 words (cuz I really do have more time to write than I thought)
• publish 2 articles
• update my three other blogs at least once
• send out my epistle story to another market
• should probably update my rejection counter too....

Coming Out 3, except not really

I really liked the more internalness? (guess you could say that) of my rewrite so wanted to do something of a similar thing.  I considered something where Vikie talks to her parents, but then decided to instead have her interact with Aaron.  I described it often enough in the other two versions, why not show it?

It didn't quite come out how I imaged. They have a very different relationship here and Vikie's mentality has morphed. And she doesn't actually confess to anything.  Is this my favorite of the three? I can't tell.  But I do like it better than the original again. Though the ending still erks me.

---

The first day of class he had asked her out for coffee.  Vikie cocked an eyebrow at him and said “I prefer chicks.” She didn’t bother putting her notebook in her bag, just scooped it out and made her way quickly towards the door. 

But Aaron plopped into the seat next to her on Wednesday with a smile on his face and said “It’s cool that you’re a lesbian.  That means I can be your friend without worrying about you crushing on me.”

Vikie had rolled her eyes, what a prat.  Who’d want to be his friend?

Apparently she did, as pleasant conversations before and after lectures led into hanging out outside of class.  They made good clubbing buddies, pretending to be a couple.  Dancing was fun and all, but getting hit on by drunk people wasn’t. 

“I don’t want to date a girl I meet a club,” he told her once, “They’re too wild for me.  I need someone tame.”

Vikie however had no such qualms.  Or at least, she didn’t mind kissing a random girl on the dance floor while Aaron took a leak.  Or chatted with the woman behind the bar.  She didn’t have the heart to tell Aaron Marie was as straight as a boiled noodle.  And only a decent lay.

She did that a lot, in high school and her first year at uni.  Hook up or bed with any girl could.  It was fun, and her second year was supposed to be similar.  But it was halfway through November now, and she had only slept with two girls.  Last year, it had been seven by now.

Despite her orientation, Vikie had a feeling it had to with the boy across from her.  Their table was small, meant for two cups of coffee not two laptops, but it was one of the few near an outlet.  The lower right corner of her Mac hung off the table, while Aaron’s was fully supported.  His chem notebook was not however, and his book sat in his lab.

Vikie knew there was a pole under the table, but her knees kept brushing his instead, and her shifting feet kept nudging his shoes.  He didn’t seem to mind, focused on balancing equations.  She on the other hand hadn’t worked on her history essay for a full five minutes, ever since he had stretched out his left leg so it past under her right one.  He rocked his foot on its heel, the toe brushing the fabric of her sweat pants half way up her calf.

It was very distracting.

In a nice sort of way. But she cut her thoughts off when they turned to wondering about how it would feel he ran the top of his foot down her bare leg.

God, she had gone through the whole am-I-straight-or-not gag already and the question had been a very obvious not.  Kissing Bobby Crowell had done nothing to her body.  Kissing Mary Hopkins had. 

But here she was, imaging touches from a guy.  She had never actually felt them before, so maybe this was just curiosity raising its head. 

Aaron didn't look at her, despite her staring for the last minute.  A roman nose, light brown hair that reminded her of the bear she slept with as a child.  He almost had girly lips, and his eyelashes certainly curled naturally.  But what struck her wasn’t he looks.  It was the frown of concentration on his face as he flipped to the periodic table in the back of the book, back to the page he left his finger on, and then back to the table. It was how the white shirt he was wearing made him seem young.  And how that wiggling foot was doing things to her stomach.

“Aaron?” she hedged and he hummed to show he heard her, giving her part of his attention at least. “Did you mean what you said the second day of class?”

He looked up at her, blinking like one who had just woke up.  “What?”

“The second day of class, you said you had a problem being friends with girls because they crushed on you.”

Aaron flushed pink, dipping his shoulders and hiding for a second behind his laptop screen.

“I’m just curious, cuz after knowing you for months you’ve never seemed that self-centered.”

“It came up once or twice in high school and at summer camps. I really just wanted to be your friend, you seemed cool. “

Vikie closed her laptop and leaned forward. “Has the problem cropped up this year?”

“Nope.” He grinned and then turned his attention back to his homework.

Vikie wanted to say that it had, that she wanted a night with him and her tangled in sheets.  But that would just open a can of worms, one that she would prefer to keep closed.  It was just curiosity. It would fade.  She hoped.

But now, she wanted a warm body curled next to her.  And if not Aaron, there was the blonde at the end of the hall who had been intrigued at her sexual orientation.  Vikie could talk her into a night of heavy petting at least.

She faked a yawn and stood up.  “See you Monday, Aaron.” Vikie swung her backpack on.

He looked up briefly and tilted his head, brown hair falling in his eyes. Her stomach twinged again.  “Sure.”

Coming Out 2

For rewrite number two, I changed the setting and the relationship between Vikie and Marie.  I think I like this one better than the original. Thoughts?

---

Vikie gasped, her mouth hanging open and arms too stiff with surprise to slap her hands over her lips in a failed effort to take back her words.  She, Vikie Manners, daughter of Lisa Manners and Claire Fields, had just come out to being straight. Or at least to finding a guy attractive. To her co-worker Marie Fellding, the wanna be punk daughter of Dr.Phil.

Marie dropped her O magazine in her lap, swinging her legs down from the checkout counter to lean over it instead to get in Vikie’s face, who had been restocking the candy bars just below it. 

“You? Straight? I remember the scandal you caused when you kissed Heather Beir during recess in fifth grade.”

She and Marie weren’t really friends, they had been standoffish enemies in high school, but now in college they found themselves both working the closing shift in a rarely visited campus convenience store.  Now, it might be better to classify them as annoyance buddies – who ever annoyed the other one the most during the shift got the prize of sitting back and doing nothing while the other restocked the shelves before they could leave.   

Still, Vikie hated it when high school or middle school, or elementary school too now, cropped up in conversation.  It was a sure way to get her irritated, which Marie knew and used as a very successful weapon in their twice-weekly competition.  But Marie had already won tonight, there was no use to bring out the big guns and reduce her to microscopic particles.

Vikie blushed at the memory, and then scowled. That mess with Heather was awful as it drew a line through the small town they lived in.  Some had sided with her moms, others with the Beirs, and the local paper had a field day posting the scathing letters the two couples wrote to each other under the guise of letters to the editors.  They wouldn’t talk to each other in person. The result was that Vikie and her family had moved, due to Claire’s job, but two years later they were back for Vikie to start 8^th grade.  The Beirs ended up moving out of town around the same time, and Vikie always secretly thought it was because of her.

Marie didn’t seem to notice her discomfort though.  “And I remember you and Mary Fletcher used to share ice cream cones the summer after 8^th grade.  And in our junior year you dated some girl from Darth right? I remember hearing all about you guys making out in hallway during the Frosty Formal.”

All things which again isolated Vikie at school.

“I get it!” She snapped. “Me, the girl who has been lesbo since birth, is actually straight!” Vikie slammed Snickers bars into their mesh basket, people would by a few tomorrow and find them smooched with caramel on the inside of the wrapper.

“But let’s back up a bit.” Marie circled her finger in a counter-clockwise direction.  “Erin, the girl who hates you, annoys you, more than me I might add, who you think is a prissy little bitch, and yet is also the person who used a guest meal pass on you when you were out of swipes for the week, who you also offered shared an umbrella with, because you secretly like her, like I said last week and the week before that – that girl. You’re finally admitting that you like her?”

Vikie yanked the Skittle case towards her.  “Yes,” she grumbled.  “I’m admitting the person I’ve been annoying you with for the past two months is actually someone I’m crushing on.”

“And,” Marie drew out, trailing off in an invitation to have Vikie finish.

“And this person is a boy Aaron, not a girl Erin.  Name is spelled with an ‘a’ and everything. “

“Fuck, you’re not kidding.  Your face is bright pink.”

Which went lovely with her strawberry blonde hair, Vikie was sure.  She refused to look up and see the gleeful expression that was sure to be on Marie’s face.

“But, what happened to being a lesbian.  Are you not one anymore than?”

Vikie looked up, Marie’s face over the counter was actually pensive and the comment wasn’t snide. 

She paused to think about it.  To her, being a lesbian was natural.  She had been attracted only to girls and was raised by two moms.  Being straight was, was, well wrong.  And weird.  And totally not cool.  Her moms would be so disappointed.

“Hot or not?” Marie asked, shoving Oprah’s cover image into her face.

“I’ve never been attracted to Oprah.”

“Oh, what about her?”  Marie flipped pages to a perfume ad with a scantily clad model.  Brunette.  Vikie had a thing for those. 

“Hot.”

“So you’re bi then.”

Vikie went back to work, more careful than she had been earlier, and didn’t answer.  Bi, wouldn’t her moms love that.

Coming Out

Oh dears, I really did mean to post this earlier today, as in before midnight. But things got in my way (aka I forgot until I checked my e-mail and saw one from blogger).  Anywho, here is the original flash fiction piece that I mention in my last post.  As the goal of this mini fiction work shop is to work on rewrites, if you guys have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Rated pg-13 for language, I guess

---

“You should just kiss him,” Marie said, a Trident sugarless bubble popping around her lips as she flipped through an old Lucky magazine.

“Excuse me?” Vikie shrieked, pausing in her re-ordering of the baked goods.

“Aaron.”

“Why would I want to kiss him? He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met.  He doesn’t even know my name, he calls me Bites! You know why?”

“Because the first time he saw you he was like ‘are those mosquito bites on your chest?’”  Marie blew another bubble, bored.  God, that new Starbucks a block away stole all their customers.

“Exactly!” The cookie in her hand broke as he clenched it in anger. Sheepishly, Vikie moved it to the back of the display.  “He’s always putting me down, we always argue. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to spend time me, and wouldn’t if we didn’t both know Jeff.   You know what he did yesterday? He came in and had me remake his coffee seven times. Seven times!”

“I know! Enough already.” Marie turned face Vikie and leaned on the counter.  “You talk about him all the fucking time. It’s always Aaron did this, Aaron did that, Aaron makes me so mad.  I’m sick and tired of hearing about it.  Someone on your mind that much has got to be someone you’re attracted too.”

“I’m not attracted to him!”

“Vikie, he’s a jock.  Blonde hair, bright gray eyes, abs.  Who doesn’t want to fuck him?”

Stilling kneeling down, Vikie placed an attitude filled fist on her hip.  Or tried to, while performing the motion she lost her balance a bit and fell into the glass panel. “Um me, I’m a lesbian remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, a lesbian from birth.  You’ve told me. Have you even tried being straight? Boys aren’t bad you know.”

“Yes, I know. Jeff is a dear who brings you flower and convinces you to skip Bio 213 for wonderful morning sex.”

Marie smiled.  “Why yes.  Did I tell you what he did this morning? He-“

“Woke you up by waving a plate of bacon under your nose. I know, you told me that earlier.”

“Just like you told me about Aaron reordering that coffee seven times three times already? I only mentioned bacon twice now.”

“I did not! Did I?”

Marie raised an eyebrow and spat out her gum in the wrapper.

“Oh. But I don’t like him!” She pulled out the mini tray of scones.  They were too old to sell after today, and it’s not like anyone was going to come and buy any in the two hours till closing.  Might as well eat them now. Vikie placed the tray on the counter next to the blender.

“Then why did you give him a pamphlet to your apartment complex when you found out he was looking to move? Or give him your Math book from last semester? For free I might add.”

“I tried selling that thing, but no one wanted it. At least it’s getting used.  And I gave him pamphlets to other places too!”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you gave him them in the first place.  Plus, he doesn’t hate you.  Didn't you say he gave you a ride home last month when it was raining? And gave you quarters at the laundromat?”

Vickie mumbled something under her breath, pulverizing a scone with a plastic knife.  Marie just smiled. 

“Fine, still be gay.  Just call it sexual experimentation or something.”

Vikie gaped at her, mouth open in horror. 

“You know hetroflexibility? Where straight people kiss their own gender, but go back to being straight? Like when Madonna kissed Britney Spears, they liked it, but both are still straight.  Can’t you be lesboflexible or something?”

“Dear Lord Marie, who do you think I am? I do relationships, not flings! Just stop, stop.  I want something lasting with him.” She gasped, hands flying up to mouth.

“Ah-hah.  You do like him.”

“I can’t.  I’m gay. My moms would be so disappointed if I came out as straight.  I don’t even know if I am!” 

“So kiss him and find out! Honestly Vikie, you may have been born lesbian,” Marie air quoted the last two words, “but your moms weren’t.  And if it’s that big of a deal, just tell them you’re bi.”

Vikie stared at her bugged eyed, but Marie ignored her and took a bite of a scone.

“But, but I like being gay.  It’s, it’s,”

“You.” Marie finished, turning serious. “I get that. And I’m not saying kissing Aaron would change that.  Just that it’ll help.”

“With what?” Vikie felt deflated.

“With answering questions.” Marie turned chipper again, grabbing a scone and poking Vikie in the cheek with it.  “And it might be fun.  It’ll most likely prevent a repeat coffee incident.”

Vikie brushed the scone away from her face. “I’ll think about it.” But she already knew she would, ever since Marie suggested it the second time.  She couldn’t really say why, other than she wanted to, and maybe that was reason enough.

I'm a thief

Being at my parents for about a month now, I'm going through writing withdrawal.  Sorta.  It only kicked in earlier this week.  I'm painfully aware of how little writing I've been doing, and I think part of the reason is that I no longer attend a writer's group weekly.  It's just too hard, what with not having a regular job to pay for gas to make the 2 hour round trip once a week. 

Is that sad, that I want even a McDonald's job so I can drive to a writer's group? I'm totally a writer at heart.

There is one here, but they only meet monthly and the town gossip tells me the ladies involved and I would most likely not get along.  But I'm still willing to go to one next month (Sept was cancelled due to Labor Day). 

But yeah, more writing needs to be done and I can feel it, sorta similar to how I would feel after skipping a practice in high school and then know I'm unprepared for a game.  It's kinda weird, as I've never really felt this way before, but it's really only been about 18 months since I really considered getting published and this is the first time I've had such a long lull in my life.

I'm reading a lot though, and the other night I was looking over this scene, or rather a sentence, that conveyed such a mood I knew I had to steal it.  So I did (who doesn't? in some fashion), and wrote a quick flash fiction piece that I'm sorta proud of.  But I figure it could be better.

So, I'm combining my efforts to get back into a writing habit and work on rewrites.  I usually just edit, instead of completely redoing things.  Next week, look for a couple versions of the same scene, built around similar ideas.  And probably characters too, for simplicity's sake, but I can't promise they'll all have the same personality.   We'll see how things develop ^_~

I've got mail!

Unfortunately, most of my mail nowadays seems to be rejection letters.  Awhile ago I sent out one of my stories to a lot of magazines as a sim sub, and the results are trickling in.  One rejection, two rejection, three rejection, more!

But it's surprising how much it doesn't really both me.  I remember opening one and my mother saying, "aw, I'm sorry Jenny" when we saw it was a rejection.  Me? I just shrugged.  I still have 16 more magazine to hear from and an online database to go through.

But I have set a limit, if only for time.  50 rejections for a piece, and then I'm gonna self-publish.  How? I'm not to sure yet.  People do it through Kindle and CreateSpace, but I know others who've done it all through free podcasts (which builds an audience and then they've gotten a contract to get them printed published).  But we'll come to that hurdle later. And there's that whole novel vs short story thing.

Regardless, I'm paying close attention to the numerous journeys other authors are taking. Patrica is a great teacher, talking about every little problem like getting the cover right and twitter campaigns.  And Fritz has just decided to pass on traditional publishing, and his top ten reasons are not those that would have popped into my mind first. Not to mention all those interviews I listen to on podcasts. I love learning, I wish I could have that for a career.

It's nice to see people taking an active step towards what they want, to do it my self to by submitting things.  It makes me feel like I'm actually doing something, and that what I want to happen, will.  Eventually.